detailed breakdown of the AIG's by player (don't read if you get offended)

1. Wyatt Crockett (7) - Can bench press a house, has the stature, elegance, and srumaging ability of a part time Hungarian Power lifter. Like a really, really sh*te version of Gordon McIlwham.
2. Andrew Hore (72) - Cunning use of a subliminal last name to pick up 72 caps more than he deserves. More tow than a roman sandal, but has the turning circle of the Exxon Valdez.
3. Owen Franks (41) - Same age as his caps, should have retired about 41 caps ago, hasn't managed to bind properly since the early 90's.
4. Luke Romano ( - 26 year old lock, joined the woeful Crusaders in 2011 by accident. Recently arrested in Lahore airport on his way to invade "The middle east"... hates Muslims, and Baz.
5. Samuel Whitelock (35) - Named so that the KeeWee public could concentrate on remembering to breath instead of working out what he was doing on their TV. Despite mass protests about the trade descriptions act, a court upheld the decision from the NZ fascist censorship board to start his last name with an W instead on the originally proposed, and far more accurate S.
6. Adam Thomson (28) - Hugely unreliable blindside flanker. May actually be blind.
7. Richie McCaw – captain (113) - One of the best opensides in the history of the game, and I'll not have a bad word said about the cheating c*nt.
8. Victor Vito (17) - Utterly redundant without Freddie Vasco.

9. Piri Weepu (66) - Physically 3 times the man Mike Blair is, his gravitational pull could affect the structural integrity of Murrayfield.
10. Daniel Carter (92) - Somehow got hold of a World cup winners medal, probably stole it off Stephan Donald, whilst he was stealing his seat, and thunder...
11. Julian Savea (5) - Last name sounds like a city in Fiji... Just sayin'...
12. Tamati Ellison (3) - Looks like a jersey shore extra and is about as useful as one.
13. Ben Smith (9) - Made a fortune whilst at college by stealing other peoples dogs and selling them. The type of guy that would masturbate at a wedding.
14. Cory Jane (38) - Has a woman's name, probably the closet anyone on that sh*tehouse team will get to scoring will be with this cat... in the shower.
15. Israel do you like Daggs (22) I like Daggs, but this twat is nothing but UG bait. Might as well have named him Bankster McWar-on-Terror the 4th Earl of Drone strike.